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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30137973">loved and found</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/favefangirl/pseuds/maddy_does'>maddy_does (favefangirl)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>callum highway week 2021 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EastEnders (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(I hope), (at time of writing), Brotherly Love, Callum Highway Week, Canon Compliant, Father Figures, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, No beta: we die like men, Romantic Fluff, Stag Nights &amp; Bachelor Parties</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:27:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,961</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30137973</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/favefangirl/pseuds/maddy_does</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben disappears in the middle of his and Callum's stag do - Callum worries it's a morbid case of deja vu.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>callum highway week 2021 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2218137</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>76</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>loved and found</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><i>day 1 of</i> <a href="https://callumhighwayweek.tumblr.com/">callum highway week</a><br/>Prompt: "I still think about him"</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s excruciating, there’s no other way of putting it. When Stuart had said he’d wanted to make a speech at the stag, Callum hadn’t seen the harm. A few words of brotherly affection, maybe a word of warning to Ben about treating him right, an anecdote from when they were kids, even. Callum hadn’t expected a thirty-eight slide PowerPoint and accompanying slam poem. Thanks to his soon-to-be-deceased brother, the whole square had gotten a good look at Callum’s Spiderman undies, heard a soliloquy about how he used to run around naked in their back garden every summer until he was 15, and watched a video Callum didn’t even know existed from when Lee had gotten him to try the cinnamon challenge a few years ago.</p><p>Callum couldn’t slump any further into his seat. He knew his whole face was red, and he was sweating through his suit most likely. He wanted the ground to swallow him whole. He was far, far too sober to be dealing with this kind of torture. It didn’t help that Jay was sat beside him, literally in tears, repeating every embarrassing story in case the table had missed it the first time. Callum was never going to be able to show his face on the square ever again.</p><p>It felt like an age before it was over, and Stuart left the shoddy stage that had been built in the corner of the Vic with a little bow to the applause that marked the end of the performance, a pleased smile on his face. Callum just squeezed his eyes shut in the hopes he would wake up and find the whole thing was just a horrible nightmare. When he opened his eyes again to the picture of he and Stuart as kids with matching grins (both missing a tooth, though only one of them had lost it in a fight) with their arms around each other still displayed on the screen, it was clear that it was very, very real.</p><p>With a deep exhale, Callum got up and walked over to where Stuart was at the bar. “Cheers Stu,” He said, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “That was really … something special.”</p><p>Stuart turned to him with such an earnest smile, Callum couldn’t help but melt a little and squeeze his shoulder. “Well, I figured since I couldn’t give your best man speech, I’d better get it all out now.” His smile faltered. “Not that I don’t think it’s great you asked Frankie, I just meant-”</p><p>“I know what you meant,” Callum assured with an easy smile.</p><p>“Maybe at the next one, ey,” Stuart joked, raising his eyebrows before waddling over to where Rainie was sat colouring with Abi.</p><p>Callum squinted a little at Stuart's comment, then shook his head. Before he could think any more about it, Jay came to stand next to him, having finally managed to compose himself. He wrapped an arm around Callum’s shoulder and said, “Your brother should go into comedy.”</p><p>“Shut it,” Callum protested with a slight smile.</p><p>“Though he’s an amateur, because a good brother knows you keep the blackmail material private.” He leaned in as he said it, and Callum could smell the alcohol on his breath.</p><p>“Is that what you’re doing?” Callum replied, wrapping his arm around Jay’s waist to steady him as he swayed backwards precariously.</p><p>“Oh yes,” Jay said with a grin. “The stories I could tell about Ben.” He laughed through his nose and shook his head. “Did he tell you about that time we snuck into a sex shop?”</p><p>Callum’s own face broke into an uncontrollable grin. “No?”</p><p>There was a dangerous twinkle in Jay’s eye and his smile grew impossibly wider. “Oh, this is a brilliant story. Here, Ben,” He turned to call Ben over from where he was sat with his mum. “Ben?” Callum turned to look over his shoulder and found Kathy sitting with Tina, Ben nowhere in sight. “Where’s he gone?”</p><p>Callum’s face fell, and he stood on his tiptoes to look around the pub, but there was no sign of him. He checked Jay was leaning against the bar before letting him go and walking over to Kathy. “Sorry,” he said, interrupting Tina telling a story. “Where’s Ben?”</p><p>Kathy’s cheeks were tinged red, and there was a sheen to her eyes which told Callum she was just as drunk as Jay was. He wondered how everyone else seemed to have drunk so much when he - one of the stags - was all but sober. “Oh I don’t know Callum, my son is your problem now. You know, it’s a miracle I look this good for my age worrying after him and Ian all the time.” She pointed her wine glass at Tina. “Do you know, when Ian was a kid-”</p><p>But Callum had lost interest. He did a lap of the pub, to check Ben wasn't cooped up in the corner of a table, stopping intermittently to respond to people’s questions and congratulations as he went. When he didn’t find him, he tried the toilets, but they were empty. He went over to asked Tracy if she’d seen him. She shook her head then took a pint over to where Martin was leaning against the bar. Callum stepped outside to get away from the noise, and pulled out his phone. There were no texts or calls. He rang Ben’s phone, but there was no answer.</p><p>For the first time since he’d noticed Ben was gone, he let himself acknowledge the panic that was building in his chest - heart pounding, breaths coming fast, palms sweating as he tried to call him again. Again, he was met with no answer. He swallowed and tried to catch his breath a moment. He racked his brain wondering where Ben might be, but he had no work on at the car lot, and no reason to go home with everyone already at the pub. </p><p>Callum tried his phone for the third - fourth - fifth time, and was really beginning to worry about where he could have gotten to, when Lola and Lexi approached. Lexi immediately threw herself at him for a hug, which he instinctively returned. It was a brief, momentary comfort, before she was pulling away and he was left with nothing but the panic once more. Lola caught up and greeted him with a half hug and a kiss on the cheek.</p><p>“Is everything alright? It’s just, we saw Ben walking over to the Arches ten minutes ago.” Sha tilted her head at him. “You two aren’t sneaking off for some last minute hanky-panky are you?”</p><p>Callum forced a smile. “What do you take me for?” he asked, faux-indignant. </p><p>She laughed. “Mummy, you said I could have some crisps.” Lexi said, tugging on Lola’s hand. Lola’s mouth dropped open, and she raised her eyebrows at Callum. </p><p>He huffed a laugh as she shook her head and let Lexi lead her into the pub, squeezing his arm as she passed. Once they were both inside, he tried Ben’s phone again and set off towards the Arches. He wondered if this was a business thing - work of the type he knew better than to ask questions about. It would explain the disappearing act, and the not answering his phone, but not why he would choose to do it in the middle of their stag. </p><p>He rounded the corner towards the Arches, but couldn’t see any cars there, or any sign it was even open. He hesitated a moment, then decided if Ben was in trouble, it was better to step in than to risk anything happening. He straightened his shoulders and marched over, pushing the door open and stepping inside. Ben, sat at the desk and playing with the label of a bottle of beer, looked up in surprise. His expression softened a little upon seeing Callum, settling into an easy smile. Callum looked around, but there was no one else there. </p><p>“Are you alright?” Ben asked, slightly amused.</p><p>“Yeah... “ Callum replied, doing another sweep of the room before facing Ben. “Yeah, what are you doing here?” he asked, stepping inside and letting the door close behind him.</p><p>Ben looked a little bit sheepish, playing with his hair and looking away. “Sorry, just needed a breather.”</p><p>“Is everything alright?” What Callum meant was, was Ben having second thoughts?</p><p>The thought had crossed his own mind once or twice. The rest of their lives together, husbands, sharing in everything with one another for better or worse, <em> Phil Mitchell </em>as a father in law - they weren’t quite doubts, but they were certainly things to think long and hard about. He came to the realisation, however, that his life only made sense with Ben in it. Forever might be a long time, but he would spend longer with Ben if he could, the two of them and their little family. It was all he wanted in the world, but that didn’t mean Ben necessarily felt the same way.</p><p>“It’s a bit late in the day, but if you wanted to call this off-”</p><p>“You what?” Ben asked, jerking his head back and frowning. He furrowed his eyebrows together. “D … Do <em> you </em>want to call this off?”</p><p>“No, of course not,” Callum denied quickly. “It’s just … Well, it’s our stag do, and instead of sitting in the Vic listening to our brothers rinse us for the next few hours, you’re sat here alone.” Callum bit his lip. “If you <em> are </em>having second thoughts-”</p><p>“I’m not,” Ben soothed with a smile. He reached out and took Callum’s hand, his engagement ring - soon to be swapped for a matching wedding band - glinting in the dim lighting. “There is nothing I want more than to marry you.”</p><p>Callum let out a breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding, and smiled with relief. He used the hand Ben was holding to tug him up. Once he was in front of him, he cupped his face and pulled him in for a kiss. He couldn’t imagine the rest of his life <em> not </em>being able to do that whenever he wanted, to wrap his arm around Ben’s shoulders and hold him to his chest as the two of them stood there, basking in the silence and each others’ presence. This was everything, and Callum couldn’t believe there was a time just a couple of years ago where he nearly stopped himself from getting a chance at this life altogether.</p><p>Eventually, Ben pulled away. He grabbed two bottles of beer from the desk and held one out to Callum, before sitting on the floor, leaning against the Ford that was sat over the pit. The corner of Callum’s mouth twitched into a smile as Ben patted the space next to him, and he shook his head but went to sit next to him anyway. Ben tilted his bottle out to him, and Callum clinked his against it with a huff of a laugh.</p><p>“I’m sorry I vanished on you,” Ben said after a brief interlude of silence, in which Callum got to enjoy the warmth of Ben next to him, and the soft sounds of his breath over the hum of the electrics. “It was just … a lot.”</p><p>“I know,” Callum agreed. “Me too.”</p><p>Ben ran his thumb over his ring. “I was thinking about Paul,” he confessed, looking down at his hands. Callum swallowed tightly. “How, after he died, I didn’t think I’d ever love anyone like that again.” Callum stared down at the ring, knowing that beneath it sat the scar from the tattoo Ben had removed before they had even met. He flicked his eyes up to Ben’s face and found he was already staring back at him. “Then I met you.”</p><p>Callum instantly softened at that. “Save it for your vows,” he tried to joke, but his voice was heavy around the lump forming in his throat.</p><p>Ben smiled at him anyway. “Don’t worry,” he said, his own voice thick. “I’ll never run out of words to tell you how much I love you.”</p><p>Callum nodded, “I love you too,” he replied, barely a whisper, and leaned in to kiss him again so he wouldn’t see him cry. When he pulled away, he was relieved to see his weren’t the only tears. “So much,” he added. </p><p>He shook his head, unable to articulate further the consuming love he felt every time he looked at Ben. He may not have been able to voice it, but the wave of feeling, the blissful ache deep in his chest - he felt it so intensely it was a wonder he managed to get through the day without collapsing under the weight of it all. He’d thought he’d loved Chris, Whitney even, but whatever those feelings were, they were nothing compared to this. Ben was home, was safety, was the thing Callum had felt was missing his whole life. Ben made everything else make sense.</p><p>“I have to say though,” Ben went on, and from the tone of his voice, Callum could see he was lightening the mood. “It’s something that I can’t decide if it hurt more to listen to your brother’s speech, or if he’d bashed me over the head and locked me in a boot again.”</p><p>Callum huffed a laugh and took a long drink from his bottle. “It is nice to get through a stag do without being punched in the face,” he agreed, watching as Ben’s mouth widened into a grin. “And if you could avoid being shot tomorrow…”</p><p>“I make no promises.” They lapsed into another silence after that, Ben scooting over enough to be able to lean his head against Callum’s shoulder, Callum taking Ben’s hand in his. “I’m so lucky,” Ben said, eventually. “So lucky.”</p><p>Callum just kissed him on the top of his head and squeezed his hand, hoping to convey how actually, he was the lucky one. It could have been hours of minutes that passed before the door swung open once more. They both startled, and turned to see Mick standing in the doorway, peeking in through his fingers. He jerked his hands further apart, then dropped them from his face altogether once he caught sight of them. He fiddled with his collar and smiled at them tightly, clearing his throat.</p><p>“Frankie and Lexi are doing my nut in about you two, so if it’s not too much trouble,” he said pulling down his waistcoat and nodding at the door. Ben snorted and shook his head, climbing to his feet. Callum followed after him, a smile toying at his own lips. “Thank you very much gentlemen,” Mick said as they stepped out of the Arches, leaving their empty bottles as they went.</p><p>Ben locked the door, and the three of them walked back over to the Vic. Dusk had settled, and darkness was beginning to creep in. In a couple of hours, Ben would be going home, while Callum was forced to spend the night at Stuarts under Frankie’s orders that they not see each other until the wedding. Callum wasn’t looking forward to the first night in over a year spent without Ben by his side, but knowing they would have every night after that together definitely helped.</p><p>They reached the Vic, and Lexi rushed out to join them. “You’re meant to be inside,” she scolded, running up to Ben who lifted her - though not as easily as he used to, since she was getting so big now - to hold against his side.</p><p>“Sorry Princess,” he said, then turned over his shoulder to throw Callum a wide-eyed look.</p><p>Callum smiled at them both as they disappeared into the Vic. He was about to follow, but was stopped by Mick’s hand on his arm. “Look, I know that Frankie is your best man- <em> wo</em>man,” he pulled a face then shook his head. “Whatever. And now Stuart has proper shown me up with a saucy bit of Microsoft, and weeeell, you know I’m not really a speech person-”</p><p>“Mick,” Callum interrupted, raising his eyebrows.</p><p>“Right, right,” Mick said, nodding and looking at the ground. He looked up and clapped a hand onto Callum’s shoulder. “I just want to say, I’m proud of you, son.” Callum inhaled sharply. “Really. You know, <b>I still think about him</b>, that daft kid with the silly hat that my Lee kept getting into trouble.” Mick smiled at him, so fond it was nearly painful to look at. “You’re a good man, Halfway. The best. And I just hope that you and Ben are happy together for the rest of your lives. It's what you deserve.”</p><p>Callum could feel himself tearing up again, but nodded with a smile. “Thank you, Mick.” Mick pulled a face. “No, I mean it. Thank you for everything. If I’m a good man it’s because you taught me how to be. I don’t know where I’d be without you. Thank you.”</p><p>Mick pressed his lips together and nodded. “Well, now I’m a grown man crying outside a boozer,” he joked. “So cheers for that, my son.” Callum laughed. “No, no, this is fine.” Mick cleared his throat, then again. “Right, so we’re gonna have a very manly hug and go in there and get you drunk, right?”</p><p>Callum nodded and wiping his own tears away. He wrapped his arms around Mick, and let himself melt into the embrace a little, before they clapped each other’s backs and pulled away. Mick nodded again and patted him on the shoulder before straightening out his waistcoat, wiping the last of the tears from his eyes and stepping into the Vic. When Callum followed him inside, he wasn’t just stepping into the pub, he was stepping into the rest of his life.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>callum has some of my favourite dynamics on the show, I love him. </p><p>also, i <i>don't</i> hate something i've written for once? whaaaaaaaaaaa!</p><p>also also, if we don't get stag do parallels in the Arches, what's even the point of them getting married?</p><p>anyway, thank you so much for reading! comments and kudos are always lovely &lt;3. especially let me know if there was something i didn't tag properly.</p><p>i'm taking prompts if you wanna drop them below. it might take a sec to reply because uni rests for no creative outlet.</p><p>say hi on tumblr: <a href="https://maddy-does.tumblr.com/">@maddy-does</a></p><p>have a wonderful existence !!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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